Lucy Sante, a renowned scholar, photographer, and award-winning author, delves into the story of her gender transition in her new memoir. Sante talks about the pivotal moments that led her to question her identity and embark on a journey of self-discovery.
One of these moments occurred when Sante moved her stuffed animals from the attic to her dresser. This small act of self-expression signified a significant shift in her mindset. Another clue was her enjoyment of playing a certain character in a student movie, which resonated deeply with her own desires.
Many people speculated whether the COVID-19 pandemic and resulting lockdowns influenced Sante's decision to transition. While she initially dismissed this idea, she later realized that feeling comfortable in her own skin played a crucial role in her transformation. Her close relationship with her partner, Mimi, and the happiness they found in their cocooned life together also contributed to her newfound sense of self.
The process of gender transition, for Sante, was a profound and absolute transformation. She no longer felt the need to hide or conform to societal expectations. Through self-reflection, she recognized how gender dysphoria had affected every aspect of her life. From small discomforts like disliking certain clothing items to major struggles with her own body, Sante experienced the weight of her secret throughout her life.
Sante describes a constant feeling of self-consciousness, as if she was always being watched. This awareness extended beyond her interactions with others and seeped into her academic and cultural pursuits as well. She meticulously curated her surroundings to project a certain image and rarely let her guard down.
Transitioning allowed Sante to remove the facade she had painstakingly built over the years. She embraced her true identity and no longer doubted herself. While she acknowledges the occasional challenges and external judgments she may face as a trans woman, she remains secure in her own skin.
The memoir details Sante's journey of coming out and her desire for affirmation and acceptance. She sought validation from others and experimented with different expressions of femininity. Some of her acquaintances were supportive and understanding, while others offered questionable advice and suggestions.
Ultimately, Sante's memoir sheds light on the transformative power of self-discovery and the importance of authenticity. It serves as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the freedom that comes from embracing one's true self.
